As authors, all of us resort to brainstorming at one time or another, looking for our next great plot. We unshackle our minds and freely fantasize. One day, delighting in our high-rise view of the Pacific Ocean, we wondered…What if we pursued some of our most ridiculous ideas that gave us a smile and a snicker before we discarded them?
What if Adam, the first man, had erectile disfunction. Where would the rest of us be? Or not be? Would some other being step up, some master intelligence, and become the top being on Earth? Don’t pooh-pooh too quickly. Some prize-winning authors have already run away with intelligent animals.
What if Eve, the first lady, resisted the evil snake and didn’t partake of the apple of knowledge? Would we still be a bunch of goody-two-feet running around with fig leaves? Why did Adam and Eve wear fig leaves when they were the only ones around? How much does a fig leaf cover, anyway? Were fig leaves plentiful, or were they wash-and-dry reusable? Do you properly wear them stem up or stem down?
What if the Tower of Babel construction was halted mid-height by lack of oxygen instead of language diversity? Would there have been mass unemployment of the workers? Did they receive unemployment compensation? What was the existing portion of the building used for afterward?
What if Noah cheated on the length of the cubit and built his ark too small? Which animals would he have to leave behind? Would he feel guilty about them? Would he have to build a second ark to accommodate all the animals? Did Noah’s wife nag him about leaving some behind? Did he brood about it every one of the forty days and nights of rain?
What if Joseph, who wore the snazzy jacket of many colors, was never kidnapped by his brothers and sold into slavery in Egypt? Who would have built all those pyramids? Would he still be able to predict fourteen years into the future from his dreams?
What if Moses hadn’t killed the cruel guard with the loose whip? Would he have remained a prince of Egypt and one day become Pharaoh? Would today’s Promised Land be located in Egypt? How much rewriting of the holy books would this cause?
What if David, the kid with a slingshot, missed Goliath altogether with his last rock? Is that why we are overrun by so many Philistine-types today? Did he at least look around for more rocks? Would Dave be in the market for a sports trainer or did he really need an optometrist for a new pair of glasses?
What if Daniel of the Lion’s Den fame was actually eaten by the lions? Did the lions get indigestion? Was he tasty or did he need seasoning? Can you blame the lions for disobeying menu orders from Upstairs when they were confined to a den?
What if Solomon couldn’t pass the third-grade intelligence or logic tests? Would he have become king? Would he have become confused when he needed to make decisions? Which of the two women claiming to be the mother would he have awarded the child?
What if there was only one universal language in the world? How would parents keep secrets from their kids? Would we lose all the idioms, double-meanings, and hard-to-pronounce words? What would we do with all our extra books and videos? What would become of language teachers and translators?
What if the Messiah actually came, but took one look at the chaos on Planet Earth, turned around, and went home?
* * * *
Not all of our fantasies focus on the biblical domain. What if George Somebody, trying to assemble Junior’s bicycle, grumbled, “I need an extra hand.” And he received one. What would he do with it afterward? Which hand would he use to zip his trousers?
* * * *
Back to reality in our condo as we watch ships enter and leave Honolulu Harbor. What if we unleash our lovable golden retriever and welcome back her owner, our disabled ex-cop-turned-PI? Yes, indeed. We’re writing the sequel to Copper and Goldie, 13 Tails of Mystery and Suspense in Hawaii (2019). Sam Nahoe will continue to hobble on his two canes as he stalks criminals and orders Goldie to chase them down.
Our newest novel is Kauai Spies and Bald-faced Lies—sequel to Kent & Katcha: Espionage, Spycraft, Romance. Check us out at www.magicile.com.
