THE CRAVIN’—WITH APOLOGIES TO EDGAR ALLEN POE by Penny Warner
Once upon a Hallow’d evening,
As I thought about retrieving
Something tasty I could munch
While watching “Scream” on Channel 4,
There came a sound, a sudden tapping,
As if someone gently rapping.
Could it be a friend or stranger,
Tapping at my dark front door?
--‘Tis some neighbor, nothing more.
Suddenly a thought sprang to me,
Like a spirit passing through me,
T’wasn’t friends or neighbors there
But ghosts and ghouls—It’s Halloween!
In a panic I went searchin’
For some treats to fee the urchins, But alas, the shelves were bare,
No candy! “Arrg!” I gave a scream.
--Nothing there…forever more?
Dousing lights, I pulled the curtain,
Then peeked out just to be certain,
There they stood in scary costumes,
Hands outstretched and wanting snacks.
Werewolves, witches, monsters screaming,
Freddy Kruger! (Was I dreaming?)
Where, dear tricksters, would I find
Enough to fill those empty sacks?
--Bottomless, and wanting more.
Back I went to search the drawers,
Check the cupboards—nothing! Horrors!
Not a Snickers, Milky Way,
Not even Gummi Worms for treats.
“Ding-a-ling!” the doorbell sounded.
“Trick or treat!” The monsters pounded,
Rustling bags and pillowcases
For more sugar-laden sweets.
--Pounding, pounding evermore.
“Stop!” I screamed, “I’m out of candy!
“Go next door. They’ve got some handy.
“As for me, I bought six bags
“But had a cravin’ watching ‘Saw’.”
“Trick or treat!” the goblins chanted.
“Give us chocolate!” On they ranted.
Filled with dread, I searched again
Through every cupboard, I did claw.
--Barren there, for evermore.
All I found were empty wrappers
Nestled in between some crackers,
And some crumbs that looked like chocolate
(Either that or we had mice….)
Feeling sick, still empty-handed,
“Where’s the candy?” I demanded.
There was nothing in that space
But stale Saltines, rancid rice.
--‘Twas too late to buy some more.
Then, at last, the tapping faded,
Darkness reigned, haunting abated.
Once again I found it safe
To open up my somber door.
Gone were bats and black cats, hissing.
Frankenstein and Igor—missing!
Nothing—save a word in soap,
Waxed on my window: