Monday, October 31, 2011

The Cravin' by Penny Warner: Halloween Guest Post

Halloween Guest post by Penny Warner

Penny Warner has published over 50 books, both fiction and non-fiction, for adults and children. Her books have won national awards, garnered excellent reviews, and have been printed in 14 countries. See Penny's Guest Post on How to Throw A Killer Vampire Party.


THE CRAVIN’—WITH APOLOGIES TO EDGAR ALLEN POE by Penny Warner

Once upon a Hallow’d evening,
As I thought about retrieving
Something tasty I could munch
While watching “Scream” on Channel 4,
There came a sound, a sudden tapping,
As if someone gently rapping.
Could it be a friend or stranger,
Tapping at my dark front door?
--‘Tis some neighbor, nothing more.

Suddenly a thought sprang to me,
Like a spirit passing through me,
T’wasn’t friends or neighbors there
But ghosts and ghouls—It’s Halloween!
In a panic I went searchin’
For some treats to fee the urchins,
But alas, the shelves were bare,
No candy! “Arrg!” I gave a scream.
--Nothing there…forever more?

Dousing lights, I pulled the curtain,
Then peeked out just to be certain,
There they stood in scary costumes,
Hands outstretched and wanting snacks.
Werewolves, witches, monsters screaming,
Freddy Kruger! (Was I dreaming?)
Where, dear tricksters, would I find
Enough to fill those empty sacks?
--Bottomless, and wanting more.

Back I went to search the drawers,
Check the cupboards—nothing! Horrors!
Not a Snickers, Milky Way,
Not even Gummi Worms for treats.
“Ding-a-ling!” the doorbell sounded.
“Trick or treat!” The monsters pounded,
Rustling bags and pillowcases
For more sugar-laden sweets.
--Pounding, pounding evermore.

“Stop!” I screamed, “I’m out of candy!
“Go next door. They’ve got some handy.
“As for me, I bought six bags
“But had a cravin’ watching ‘Saw’.”
“Trick or treat!” the goblins chanted.
“Give us chocolate!” On they ranted.
Filled with dread, I searched again
Through every cupboard, I did claw.
--Barren there, for evermore.

All I found were empty wrappers
Nestled in between some crackers,
And some crumbs that looked like chocolate
(Either that or we had mice….)
Feeling sick, still empty-handed,
“Where’s the candy?” I demanded.
There was nothing in that space
But stale Saltines, rancid rice.
--‘Twas too late to buy some more.

Then, at last, the tapping faded,
Darkness reigned, haunting abated.
Once again I found it safe
To open up my somber door.
Gone were bats and black cats, hissing.
Frankenstein and Igor—missing!
Nothing—save a word in soap,
Waxed on my window:
--“Nevermore!”

6 comments:

Diana Orgain said...

Too cute! Thanks for the laugh, Penny!

Anonymous said...

Penny, Poe would be proud!!
Sue

Penny said...

Thanks Diana and Anonymous Sue.
I'm sure he'll come back to haunt me...
-Penny

Cindy Sample said...

Very funny. It not only made me chuckle it was a gentle reminder that I ate almost all of the Halloween candy last week.

Can't have anyone soaping my windows altho that would be one way to get them clean!

Carole Price said...

Is there no end to your talent, Penny? Love it!!!!!!!!!

vicki18 said...

First I agree with Carole Price!
Next, just want to tell you that living in a flat in the city, we get very, very few if any trick-or-treaters. But I also buy my favorite chocolate, "just in case!" Mmmmm. That chocolate is the best!